Over the rainbow

It's Friday 7th Feb. Already?!
We've yet to have snow this year, usually we have had some by now.. but no sign so far.
As I sit on my lovely sofa, my cat Ziggy sits next to me, sunbathing; his eyes closed and his ears all pink.

I have already been out this morning. I had my psychologist appointment at 10.30am.
 My experience of this support has been mainly good. I started going in the summer last year (2013) and my appointments were fortnightly. My initial referral was made because I was having great difficulty with the psychological effect from having Hodgkin's. It has really helped me by talking to someone professionally.
From discussing my feelings and thoughts on my experiences, other feelings and difficulties would often come to the forefront and this would be very hard - emotionally. I would often leave the sessions with all my make up cried off! I think one week I went with no make up and ended up not crying. Typical! ;)
I find my mental health much harder to write about! There's so much I want to say but I am scared to, fear of judgement I guess.Writing about cancer was easier... writing about weight loss - also easier.
I think the reason for this, is that there is still a huge stigma attached to it. I can talk to people about my difficulties with depression and anxiety and when I do, it is very common that someone will say they have the same problems or at least similar. So why do we hide away?
Yesterday this link was all over Facebook and Twitter and remains to be - probably for a while.
http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/
Here, people all over the UK are making a pledge, opening up the conversation about mental health. I have made my pledge - to write more about my mental health and this blog entry is a start :)

Today, my psychologist signed me off! I have acquired so many tools from the sessions and have a better outlook on things surrounding my journey with cancer, but also to help my depression, anxiety difficulties and general wellbeing.

Things I am using to help me continue my current good wellbeing - at home but also at work.

*Mindfulness -  continue to refer to a fab book 'Mindful Compassion' By Paul Gilbert & Choden
*Relaxation - breathing techniques and meditation
*Saying NO to things I really don't want to do
*Maintain my protection area - this could be going for a walk regularly, talking with a friend, having 30 mins quiet time to think - it is important to do these things even if the mind feels busy, or I feel stressed and 'too tired to do that now'
*Being aware of physical changes in the body and understanding why they might be there - i.e. Hot face, red cheeks - are often a sign I am too hot! :)  I get warm easily and quickly! But it can also mean I feel uncomfortable or anxious. Using this awareness to understand my reactions helps to counteract the emotions and find a way to overcome difficult moments - combining this with the protection area mentioned above
*Be honest about my feelings if I am not satisfied/upset/angry, rather than hide the upset - it always comes back and often comes back worse!
* Put my needs first

For me to share this is a huge thing and even when I click 'publish' I will possibly still be unsure!

Leaving the hospital today, I felt like I was taking a step forward into a new chapter.
The sun was shining and I looked around feeling fresh and new.
I looked into the sky and there was a huge rainbow! It was amazing and put a huge smile on my face.

I hope that's a sign for me..... :)

thank you for reading xx